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1) Go to the pearly gates of heaven

2) Proceed to the throne of God

3) Since I’m at God’s throne, I will worship in awe

4) Go to the meeting place of singing angels

5) Ask God where Moses is and ask him if he thinks himself humble (just to confirm if he is still humble)

6) Look for the dinosaurs

7) Look for my friends and family and the souls that I know

Look for Stephen (I want to congratulate him myself)

9) Go to the house/room that God has prepared for me

10) Rest and worship for all eternity

I was listening to several Gospel songs and one in particular hit me.

The lyrics goes like… sometimes he calms the storm and other times he calms his child.

It is amazing to know and realize that YES God could solve your problems, heal your sicknesses, make everything in your life look good and wonderful, but on top of it all, he is a God who wants you to stay at peace even when everything seems to be falling apart.

Why am I saying this? Am i being too preachy?

The past months was very enlightening for me. Last April 2007, I was diagnosed to have Pott’s disease in the spine. Consequently, I had to go back to the Philippines and take a long time away from work. All of a sudden, all the vacation plans, church activities, and all other useless stuff were all put to stop because I had to rest and recuperate. But worries, possible financial problems, possible outcomes, possible side effects, and all other negative things started to flood my mind.

At this point I had to find someone to whom I could cry and weep and wail and ask why me. I am a good son and christian, why me. But in the midst of the chaos that seemed to be building up, it was like someone said to me at that moment that I have to gather myself up and trust in the Lord. At that very instant I realized that I should be strong and be of good courage. I then started to listen to more Gospel songs and had more encouragement. Though my worries seemed to stay where they were, I started to feel peace. I had to let go of my worries and start to think on how to keep myself busy. I am looking on a 2-month long forced vacation where I would be required to stay at home and just lie down and do nothing.

At this time I can now move around the house and it seems that this particular storm is beginning to pass. I am not sure if I will have stronger and heavier and more powerful storms in the future but one thing goes into my mind… my God will never change and though there might be storms on my way, I know that he’ll keep me safe and at peace. For this I could testify and rest assured.

God bless us all.

Gee… time flies really fast.

Parang kailan lang I was in highschool and was having the time of my life.
I can remember the silliness and the feeling of being carefree.
Ngayon naman, I still manage to be silly and carefree at times but I consider it as a luxury that I avail "at my own risk". Oh my, I’m sounding "too adult" pero I realized that these are some of the things that I once enjoyed but had to let go.

As I focus my thoughts on these things, I realized that, many times, I can’t afford to be silly nor carefree with my life. Furthermore, I am required to act and show that I’m "too serious" and "too dedicated" to the things that I am doing. As I ponder on this, I felt that it could lead to excessive pretension on the things that I am doing.(but then my observation could be wrong since I’m only human and I guess I’m entitled to it). Anyways, I created this blog not to discuss my opinion on this matter but I will expound on this subject matter on my upcoming blogs.

On a lighter note, I’m amazed on how I am starting to realize some important things lately which, if not for the discomfort, I will not even think of dwelling on it myself. Enclosed at the bottom of this blog is Hillsong United’s "From The Inside Out" from their "United We Stand" 2006 album.

Natutuwa ako sa lyrics ng song because it sort of summarized how good God has been and continues to be good in my life. As what the song lyrics say… "A thousand times I’ve failed still Your mercy remains". Oh my, I can’t believe how many misturns and U-turns and back steps and sidesteps that I did in my life. I could never believe how bountiful His grace has flown on me. But, as the song continues, it said that "and should I stumble again, I’m caught in Your grace". God has promised that he will never forsake us, He told us that if we come to Him, He will take our burdens and give us rest. Indeed I have known these things theoretically, I’ve read the bible from Genesis to Revelation at least 10 times over the last 5 years. In fact, I did had my own story of how God himself took all my burdens and laid me to rest.

Pero, there are two things that continues to puzzle me is that I still manage to go on a handful (yeah allan maybe you need a hundred hands) of sidesteps and missteps. Oftentimes, I’m able to go 1 step forward but be 6 steps backwards the next day. I’m really puzzled. Sometimes I could not understand nor reason with my "ownself" kung papaano ko hinayaan na mangyari ang mga bagay na ito. I guess, this is part of being "HUMAN". I guess I need to always stop and remind myself of this fact. Ohhhh life is quite complicated but I believe that it’s manageable, especially if He is with you.

Anyways, I would want to share with you the mp3 but that would be piracy and another sidestep which I don’t want to do…. ahihi.

Kaya ito, advertisement na lang, you can buy this album from any "House of Praise" store. Normally meron din sa OMF sa Boni or sa PCBS sa iba’t ibang lugar.

From The Inside Out
by Hillsong United
United We Stand (2006)

A thousand times I’ve failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I’m caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

just watched the movie entitled Adaptation yesterday. not really sure kung naintindihan ko ba siya but me kakaibang impact yung movie sa akin.

parang naka-relate ako but i also am not sure kung bakit. maybe Adaptation’s message arrowed right thru my heart… not sure pero parang ganon… ika nga ni Max Lucado… “most of the hollywood movies have fireworks for the eyes but no dynamite for the heart”.

I think this movie has the dynamo needed to make my heart explode… huh?!?!?! ang lalim ko. anyways, di ako isang hopeless critic pero ito lang talaga ang nararamdaman ko. kahit ano naman diba pwedeng isulat sa blog. har har har. anyways, watching movie made me realize na ang dami dami ko palang namimiss sa buhay ko. ang dami dami kong nate-take for granted. i realized that I am missing my highschool friends, my college friends, my friends during my elementary years. Ano na kaya ang nangyari sa kanila?

nakakalungkot kasi minsan magisa lang akong maglunch, pero sino ba ang pumili nun? sino ba ang may sabi sa akin na kumain ako ng maaga? sino ba ang may sabi na manahimik ako sa aking desk at “magtrabaho” from umaga hanggang afternoon. sino nga ba? i just realized that i am wasting my time and di ako sure kung ito ba talaga ang gusto kong gawin for the rest of my life. right now… i am in the phase of searching myself (hindi ito identity crisis for i know that i am full in christ). i think lahat ng tao ay dumadaan sa ganitong phase where they are yearning for more… kasi diba kung di tayo nagyearn for more, malamang stone age pa rin tayo hanggang ngayon. malamang walang friendster, walang computer. Think… ano kaya ang occupation ko? isang aliping saguiguilid na kasamang ililibing ng aking panginoon kapag siya ay namatay? ganon nga ba nung stone age? ah ewan, basta i believe that God himself is trying to tell me something in this ordeal. maybe he is telling me that i should let go and let HIM do everything, pero kasi dapat me gawin din ako, I just can’t sit and let God do everything. I mean, he is powerful pero he will not do the walking for me, he will just provide for the strength so that I could walk.

ahhh lumalalim na ako, i think kailangan ko nang bumili ng libro na mababasa ko. haaayyyy.

anyways, till next time sa mga bumabasa nito (kung meron man). God bless.

I was just reminded how beautiful and marvelous God is. I just can’t believe that He has been so faithful even though I was so unaligned to His words. But, I believe that He is teaching me new ways so that I may grow more in love to Him.

Have a pleasant day.